


From every Sunday evening to every Sunday night

by Effymaybe



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Subtle Chaesoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effymaybe/pseuds/Effymaybe
Summary: Lisa wants Jennie to know the way she feels about her, so she writes her a note every day of the week.





	1. Saturday

Lisa catches herself staring again. She averts her eyes quickly, but the blonde considers that Jennie must have realized already that she is unable to take her eyes off of her.

But could anyone blame her, really? The brunette is looking absolutely stunning today, in a white Chanel crop top and a pair of skinny jeans which fit her body just perfectly. Her chocolate hair is shining bright, soaked by the morning sun, and she is talking so passionately about the benefits and disadvantages of dog clothing that Lisa finds it kind of hard to follow.

And maybe, just maybe, she might be kind of _distracted_ as well because Jennie’s vehemence makes her feel a bit giddy. 

She must have been silent for too long, she thinks, because Rosé is looking at her with a raised eyebrow. 

Lisa answers to the implicit question shaking her head slightly.

She is not a stranger to her feelings. She knows very well that she likes Jennie in _that_ way, and she is not exactly scared of the sentiment itself. The thought of never being able to express it out loud, on the other hand, terrifies her. She wants Jennie to know, but jeopardizing somehow the friendship that her and her bandmates have cultivated throughout the years is just a big no-no. Lisa loves her girls with all her heart.

So she thinks, still sitting on the table, pretending to listen to Jisoo ranting about her own experience with a very pissed off Dalgom, that there must be a way of confessing her feelings without making thinks _too_ awkward.

Lisa narrows her eyes lightly, considering the idea.

"Lisa?" Jennie interrupts her reflection.

The blonde blinks rapidly as she is brought back to reality.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?” Jisoo asks with amusement, "you seem off today".

"Just sleepy", Lisa answer in a child-like tone of voice she is sure it will make her friends drop the topic.

While seeing Jennie rolling her eyes, the blonde realizes that confessing her feelings might be a bit harder than she thought.


	2. Sunday

It is Blackpink's leisure day, finally. They have been working hard lately, dealing with the responsibilities of the next comeback, so the arrival of the non-scheduled morning felt as if it was some sort of mini vacation. 

Jennie has been particularly stressed lately, having to add to her already busy schedule a series of photoshoots linked to her modeling career. 

The brunette never complains, really, but that isn't necessary for Lisa. She mastered the technique of reading Jennie's behavior a few years ago already, and she just _knows_ how exhausted the brunette truly is.

And it's a bit painful. Lisa wishes that Jennie would open up just a bit more, so she could shower her with the love and affection that the brunette deserves. 

The blonde thinks about it as she absently pets Leo, who is purring appreciatively.

Lisa knows that the Jennie is not exactly _the best_ at expressing her feelings, especially when she's frustrated or worried, and just showing up with open arms and soft words will not work well for neither of them.

So the blonde sits on her own bed, legs crossed, and thinks hard. She might be a bit stubborn as well. 

It's not easy. Mainly, because lack of ideas, but also because thinking about the brunette takes her to a place full of sweet voices, flowery scents and soft skin, so _concentrating_ itself is already a challenge.

_Things that Jennie likes..._

_Not a thing_ , Lisa thinks, _a gesture._ Something simple and meaningful.

Her eyes scan her own room, as an attempt to find anything that could trigger a thought.

Her plushies, her Polaroids, her books...

And suddenly, as a lightning, the idea strikes her. 

-

_I know you are tired, but please, don't work yourself out._   
_You are doing fantastic already. I'm proud of you._   
_Love, Lisa._

It's simple, Lisa thinks. Not _too much_ , and she figures that Jennie will be smart enough to read between lines.

_Love_ , the note reads. 

It's clear for Lisa. It always has been.

She tiptoes into the brunette’s bedroom. It is way past breakfast time, but Jennie told to her bandmates, last night, about her intention to spend the whole morning resting from work, so Lisa knows better than to wake the brunette up against her will.

_Besides, it will be way cuter like this_ , Lisa thinks.

While she is putting the note on the top of Jennie's night table, the blonde takes a look at the shorter girl.

Her hair is slightly disheveled, lips pouting just a bit, and she is cuddling a plushie Lisa feels she has seen before. Jennie is sleeping soundlessly, as she always does, slightly blushed due to heat produced by the quite large number of blankets that cover her body.

Lisa knows that Jennie prefers it that way.

The blonde stares for a little bit longer, her chest filled with comfortable warmth, until she decides that Jennie wouldn’t be pleased to find somebody just staring at her first thing in the morning, so she leaves the room, a bit gloomily.

Lisa waits impatiently. Jisoo and Rosé left a while ago to have breakfast at some café they have been talking about for days, so Lisa just distracts herself by listening to her favorite artists.

When Jennie finally comes out of her room, a few hours later, the blonde looks at her expectantly.

The brunette barely looks at her. She mumbles a sleepy _good morning_ and goes straight to the fridge.

Lisa sits with crossed legs on the floor, utterly disappointed. As a ray of hope, the idea that maybe Jennie has not seen the note strikes her.

She watches the brunette taking a few ingredients out of the fridge to make some pancakes and takes the opportunity to sneak into her room. The note isn't on the night table.

Lisa frowns, annoyed.

She needs to step up her game.


	3. Monday

And just like that, leisure time is over.

Timetables are full again, but Lisa is relieved to find out that Jennie's personal activities finished last week. They still have to work, of course, probably even harder than the week before given the proximity of the comeback date. However, the blonde knows that having Jennie close allows the rest of the band to pamper her a bit when things become too much.

Lisa considers that Jennie might be going through one of those moments.

The brunette has been unusually quiet the whole day, and even though Jennie tends to find Lisa's jokes just terrible, the blonde is almost always able to produce at least one poorly-hidden grin on her groupmate. 

However, today is not the case. The brunette is currently staring absently throughout the living room window. Some minutes before, Jisoo attempted to subtly find out the source of her bandmate’s evident mood, but Jennie mumbled that she was just tired and the topic was dropped.

Lisa, of course, knows better.

She reflects on the events which had place during the day. They woke up early, as they almost always do during times of busy schedules, had a quick breakfast, and headed to the set in which the photoshoot of the upcoming album had place. Jennie was sleepy, indeed, but happy. She laughed openly at the playful banter that Jisoo and Lisa had during one of the breaks. She even fixed the blonde’s hair once or twice, which actually got the Lisa's cheeks turning in a shade of crimson. 

So nothing really _happened_ there.

They headed home afterwards, still content.

Then, they had lunch. It was a bit chaotic, really, because they kind of expected to be home a bit earlier and cook something _healthy for once_ , from Jennie’s perspective. However, hunger became demanding and they all were just too tired, so the group resorted to get some takeout food and sat to eat in the living room. 

They were silent, a bit drowsy due to finally being able to relax after the busy morning. A few minutes later, Jisoo pulled out her phone, claiming that she needed to break someone’s record on a videogame. Lisa woke up Leo to play with him under the amused stare of Rosé, who, stringing some chords on her guitar, told her that someday the feline was going to run away from his torment. Jennie laughed at the interaction, and after stretching her limbs, she decided check her social media.

_And that's when things changed_ , Lisa thinks.

Jennie hasn't said anything, but she never really does immediately. The blonde knows that most of the times the brunette needs a few hours to tune down her emotions at least a bit before voicing them. 

Sometimes, however, it takes her days.

And given the excessive blinking and the almost imperceptible way in which her lips are trembling right now, Lisa considers that the current situation may not be on the easy side.

So she decides to check what exactly happened on her own.

A few moments later, Lisa kind of wishes she wouldn't have.

Someone decided to post a video of Jennie missing some lyrics on a not-so-recent concert.

It's not that rare. Lisa knows that they are lots of people who somehow profit from their hatred towards others, and that's something that simply can't be changed. However, the large number of comments under the video manage to break Lisa's heart.

They address Jennie's abilities, her performances, her talent. 

It is borderline aggressive, and it gets Lisa frowning and clenching her jaw unknowingly. 

"Girls? Get ready, please. We need to leave".

Both Rosé and Jisoo groan at her manager's words, annoyed at the prospect of imminent work.

Lisa decides she needs to do _something_.

So, once at her shared bathroom, she changes her clothes quickly in order to use her spare time to write.

_To the most talented rapper out there,_   
_you will do amazing,_   
_as you always do._   
_Get them, Jen!_   
_Love,_   
_Lisa_

Lisa stares at the piece of paper for a while, until she decides it is good enough. 

She thinks about sneaking into the brunette’s room again for her to find the note when she arrives home, but Lisa knows Jennie needs it _right now_ , so she hides it in her pocket.

The whole group arrives to the studio quickly. As Jisoo starts to record, the rest of the girls wait patiently in a room nearby.

Lisa comes with an excuse that gets her walking through the hall. She looks for the expending machine that Jennie was staring at just a minute before, buys one of the brunette’s favorite candies, and heads to the front of the studio.

_She will like this_ , Lisa thinks as she sticks the note that she wrote at home to the window glass of the room. She wonders what to do with the candy for a moment, before deciding to write "Jennie" on the wrapping paper with a marker she carries on her purse and leave it on the top of an empty white shelf besides the door.

She _could_ give it to Jennie. _But it wouldn't be as sweet as this_ , Lisa considers.

She smiles, satisfied with herself, and goes back with Jennie and Rosé at the same time Jisoo finishes recording.

When, a few moments later, the shorter brunette starts to describe the way in which she just slayed her lines, Jennie stands up.

It’s her turn.

-

She enters to the waiting room after a while.

Lisa does not want to hope too much, but the brunette seems at least most cheerful than she looked a few hours ago.

However, she does not mention the note, neither the candy.

"Was it good?” Rosé asks as she stands up to head to the studio herself.

"Yeah, it was great", Jennie says. 

She puts her hands in her pockets, and the sound of wrapping paper is unmistakable.

_At least she took the candy_ , Lisa thinks.


	4. Tuesday

They are chatting at the cozy coffee shop nearby their dorm. The whole group is gleeful, excited for their comeback, but also happy to have a free afternoon to spend some relaxing time together.

Both Lisa and Jisoo are trying to finish a fancy cup of ice cream each, definitely too big for neither of them to actually be able to do so. Rosé basically ordered a quarter of the menu, and she is currently munching a big piece of a glazed donut that, in case of being able to speak, she would describe as _exquisite_ . As in for Jennie, she is having a simple latte with a piece of cake she took at least fifteen minutes to choose, afraid of buying something too sweet-flavored for her taste buds to handle.

She is rather happy with her choice, and the coffee complements just great.

Lisa is staring at her from the opposite of the table.

Jennie looks just _breathtaking_ . She is content. It is evident given the soft smile that highlights her face and the way her hands move as she talks with the girls. 

They are sitting outside, and the sunlight makes her cat-like eyes shine in a way it makes Lisa's stomach tingle a bit.

Jennie runs her hands through her chocolate hair and she laughs, lifting her face just a bit, her eyes closed and her gums showing in the most beautiful way ever.

Happy Jennie must be one of the most gorgeous things that exist in the word, or so Lisa thinks. It is a recurrent thought, and she is honestly surprised when she encounters people who dare to disagree.

But it doesn't matter right now, really, because the cheerful atmosphere lifts everyone's spirits, and suddenly the whole group is bursting into laugher over one of Jisoo’s comments.

When the moment finishes, Jennie turns her head towards Lisa. The blonde's heart starts to beat faster.

She doesn't say anything, but smiles softly just for a second before tearing her eyes apart.

Lisa wonders if that is supposed to mean _something_ .

"So, Lisa", Rosé interrupts her thoughts, "is everything alright? You've been a bit quiet lately, which is not... usual".

The shorter blonde huffs playfully at the teasing before tilting her head lightly.

"Yes, Chae. I'm just thinking about the album".

"Ah, Lisa, everything is going great. Don't worry too much", Jisoo states, patting her back softly.

Lisa merely answers with a smile, her eyes drifting again to the younger brunette.

Jennie is grinning at her, eyes small and cheeks uplifted.

_Everything is going great._

She just wishes she could tell Jennie how absolutely _stunning_ she looks when she is joyful. 

The youngest blonde looks at the paper napkins lying on the top of their table and her eyes glint with the light of an idea.

She takes one of the white sheets discretely, while her friends once again fall into a casual conversation. Lisa takes the pen she added just recently to the list of items she can't go out of her house without, and starts scribbling on the improvised piece of paper.

None of the girls seem to notice, so she finishes her work and folds the napkin neatly. 

"Well, it’s getting late. I'll pay this time since you are all my children", Jisoo winked, "but I need to go to the bathroom first".

"Yeah, me too", Jennie agrees.

"I got to go as well, but I can wait for you if you want to".

Rosé directs her statement to Lisa, who denies with her head.

"It's all right. I'll keep an eye on our stuff. You go".

Lisa takes the opportunity when her three bandmates leave. She opens Jennie's purse, and before actually leaving the note here, she double-checks it.

_To one of the most radiant girls out there,_   
_You look beautiful today_   
_(as always)._   
_Seeing you happy makes me happy._   
_Love, Lisa_

Well, that's _telling_ , she thinks.

That _mus_ t spur a reaction.

-

They get home some minutes later, still gleeful.

Lisa watches Jennie with the corner of her eye. The brunette is heading to her room with her purse on her hand.

At dinnertime, after a few hours, Lisa hasn't heard any comment on the note yet.

It's getting a bit discouraging, honestly.

They are sitting on the table, eating what Jennie described as _good quality food_ .

Jisoo asks the other brunette about a plushie resembling Kuma she got from a fan.

"Oh! It looks just like him. It's in my bedroom.”

She makes a tired gesture, and Lisa offers to look for the gift herself.

"It's on the top shelf at the right of my bed".

The blonde nods. She knew exactly where the plushie was even before Jennie told her.

As she enters the brunette's room, Lisa spots the purse on which she left the note that afternoon.

It is open, and completely empty.

The blonde has to make use of all her willpower so as not to stomp her feet to the ground like a little child.

Everything is _not_ going so well.


	5. Wednesday

They wake up at a fairly reasonable hour this time.

There are things to do, for sure, but not too many, and it is shown in the way there is a large variety of inviting dishes lying on the table just for breakfast.

It is a rainy morning, the scent of humidity lingering in the air. The wind blows slightly, enough to make a few extra layers of clothing needed due to the sudden cold.

Lisa was the second of the girls to get up, surprisingly, just after Rosé, who was excited because of the prospect of a tasty meal.

Right now, both girls are sipping coffee, relishing on the warmth that the hot cups leave on their hands. 

Jisoo enters the room blinking sleepily. She is a bit irritated after being rudely interrupted from her dream by her phone alarm, but her mood lifts as soon as she spots the food on the table. 

They all greet each other languidly, but content.

After a while, Lisa takes a glance at the clock on the wall.

"Where's Jennie?” she asks. She knows that the brunette would very rarely skip a good meal.

"Probably still asleep", Rosé answers with a shrug.

Lisa makes a sound of approval. Maybe she is overthinking.

Some more minutes pass, and just when the youngest blonde, slightly worried, is about to check on her bandmate, she gets into the room. 

Jennie looks a bit messy. Her hair is slightly disheveled and there are almost imperceptible dark shadows under her eyes. Her face is a bit swollen due to what Lisa hopes it was a deep sleep, and there is a slight pout on her lips that has the blonde’s heart soaring.

Her natural beauty is simply striking.

Lisa stares at her in amazement, wondering how somebody can look so adorable and attractive at the same time. She bits her tongue in order to keep herself quiet.

Jennie mumbles a greeting while she sits at the table. She immediately pours coffee on a cup and cuts a piece of a hotcake with a fork.

And that's when Lisa sees it.

There is a light wrinkle at the corner of Jennie's lips that the blonde has only seen when something was definitely not going well.

But maybe she is imagining things.

Maybe she just needs to stop staring at the brunette for a while.

And she is actually about to advert her eyes when Jennie looks back at her.

It's not exactly a friendly stare. The brunette raises an eyebrow that Lisa knows it means _danger_ , so she lowers her gaze to her coffee cup quickly.

She fears for a moment that Jennie's rage is exclusively aimed at her, but she stays quiet for most of the breakfast, which means, yeah, she's not mad, she's just moody.

"Is everything alright, Jennie?” Rosé seems to notice as well that something is off with her bandmate.

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?” the brunette answers rather harshly.

Rosé and Lisa get a bit startled by the tone, but Jisoo is having none of it.

"Don't be rude, Jen. We are just worried. Tell us what's wrong". Jisoo's voice is interlaced with just the perfect amount of both caring and slight reproach, and it has Lisa thinking about the way in which the shortest brunette can certainly act like an older sister sometimes.

Jennie huffs a bit, but answers anyway.

"I just woke up ugly."

" _What?!_ " Lisa’s voice echoes across the room.

"It's just not my day. Please, drop it".

There is a moment of silence while her bandmates wonder what to do.

"Jennie, I don't know exactly what you mean, but you are always pretty. If you don't want to talk about it for now, it's okay, we won’t make you. Just tell us when you are ready", Jisoo speaks softly.

Rosé nods in agreement. 

"Thank you. And I'm sorry", Jennie sounds honestly regretful, and the tallest blonde smiles while she pats her back reassuringly.

"It's alright, Jen. We all have those days".

Lisa stays silent, conflicted.

A few minutes later, she stands.

"I've got to change", Lisa states.

"Yeah, us too. We have to go like in thirty".

They all leave the table and the youngest blonde rushes to her room.

She changes as quickly as she can in order to get some extra time.

She doesn't really have to think about it. She knows what to do.

_To the most beautiful girl out there,_   
_you looked breathtaking yesterday,_   
_and you look breathtaking today._   
_Lots of love,_   
_Lisa._

The blonde thinks that she can do a little extra and rushes to their backyard to pick up some tulips from the grass. 

Back in her room, she ties the small bouquet with a piece of thread. 

She approaches Jennie's and Jisoo's shared bathroom. She knows that the youngest brunette is most likely to use the room the last, given to the definitely not excessive amount of time she spends there, so she knocks on the door, fingers crossed.

"Yes?” Jisoo answers.

"Can I use your bathroom once you finish?"

"Why?” the brunette asks with suspicion.

"Rosé is taking too long and..."

"Ugh, it's all right. No further explanation".

The door opens and Lisa is quick to hide her gifts behind her back.

Jisoo makes a gesture, indicating that she can enter the room already, and Lisa gets inside.

She wipes off the mirror before sticking the note and the small bouquet of tulips there.

The blonde sighs. She really hopes it works.

-

Lisa knows she shouldn't be disappointed by the lack of response anymore, but she kind of is.

She just wishes that Jennie would tell her something, _anything_ about her gifts.

Right now, the whole group is sitting on their car seats, Jennie and Jisoo on the front ones and Rosé and Lisa on the back ones, heading off to work.

The youngest blonde is a bit gloomy, really, but suddenly, she hears Jennie's laughter loud and clear in front of her.

The brunette turns around to face the younger girls, still smiling happily.

"Listen to Jisoo's imitation of a goat".

It’s random, Lisa thinks, and that’s why it is special.

During Jisoo’s fantastic performance, Lisa catches Jennie staring at her.

It lasts a few moments only, and it leaves the blonde wondering whether she is imagining things or not.


	6. Thursday

It is a cold morning. The wind is blowing harshly between the leaves of the trees outside the dorm, and the sound it produces can be heard from the kitchen.

Lisa feels a bit blue, really. She prefers days in which sunlight shines warm enough for her to be able to go out with comfortable clothing. Right now, she’s still kind of cold despite of the blanket wrapped around her body. 

It's one of their quite-busy mornings, so Lisa relishes the idea that she will be able to get back to bed soon. 

Rosé is sitting beside her, as per usual, a bit gloomy because of the lack of warmth as well. She keeps her arms around her own body while she provides Lisa with a well-developed list of reasons why summer is the best season of the year.

When Lisa feels a cold breeze coming up from the kitchen door, she can't help but agree with her bandmate.

Jisoo and Jennie enter the room, both yawning openly.

"Good morning!" the older brunette greets cheerfully.

Both blondes look at her incredulously.

"Good morning? It's _freezing!_ "

"Yes", Jisoo smiles, "and cloudy. The perfect day."

Rosé narrows her eyes for a second before letting out a laugh.

"You are something else".

Lisa grins at the whole interaction, amused, and drifts her eyes to the taller brunette.

Jennie is smiling as well, but there is a certain glint missing in her eyes.

The blonde tilts her head, analyzing. 

"Jen? Tell Jisoo she's insane, please", Rosé requests.

The older brunette makes a sound, outraged, and proceeds to describe to the tallest blonde the hidden beauty of winter.

Soon, they both start to playful bicker about their weather preferences.

"Are you ok, Jen?" Lisa asks the brunette, murmuring. She doesn't want to startle her, and she doesn't want to sound too clingy either, but Jennie's cheeks are just too flushed and she keeps shivering lightly under her thick sweater.

The brunette looks at the blonde, shallowing hard, and sniffs subtly before speaking.

"I think I might be a bit sick".

That gets the attention of the rest of her groupmates.

"Well, there's not much to _think_ about, given to your voice", Jisoo states, making reference to the raspy sounds that just came out of Jennie's mouth.

Jisoo, being Jisoo, immediately reaches to place the palm of her hand on top of her friend's forehead. 

"You are a bit warm. Does your throat hurt?"

Jennie hesitates for a moment before answering.

"Not much."

Lisa's mouth twitches.

"Jen, if you are not feeling well, you should stay in for today", the youngest blonde advises as softly as she can. She is worried.

"No", the brunette frowns as she tries and fails to raise her tone of voice, "I'm alright. We only have to do a few things today. I can handle it".

Lisa opens her mouth, but Rosé speaks first.

"Jen, it's just one morning. You can take it free. It's for health reasons".

But when the shorter blonde sees the way in which her groupmate crosses her arms in determination, she knows that arguing is pointless.

"It's just a few hours", Jennie states, "I'll be okay".

The brunette tries to smile in reassurance. Lisa perceives the flicker of pain that crosses her eyes.

-

It only gets colder throughout the morning.

The four of them are standing in the middle of an open set, covered by the warmest coats they could find in their closets.

Jisoo is making jokes, an attempt to make her groupmates feel more cheerful.

Both Lisa and Rosé laugh along loudly despite their initial mood, and even the taller brunette chuckles slightly.

However, she's not feeling exactly _better_.

And Lisa can tell.

Jennie has been coughing discretely since they left the dorm, and she keeps rubbing her eyes as if she's trying to keep herself awake.

Lisa sighs and pouts a bit. 

She knows that the youngest brunette tends to push herself a bit too much. 

Without thinking, she rubs her hand up and down Jennie's back, trying to keep her warm. 

The brunette turns to face her with a thankful smile, and Lisa feels her heart just a bit lighter.

She can take care of Jennie if she allows her to.  
-  
The girls came home a bit earlier after Jisoo's insistence.

"This is insane. You are practically burning. I'll call our manager and tell her that we can't go on", the older brunette informed Jennie.

Lisa thanked her quietly.

So the youngest brunette is sleeping in her bed, currently, covered by many, many layers of blankets. 

She refused to eat because her throat started to ache a bit too much at some point of the morning, so Lisa's most immediate worry consists in trying to make something edible for her.

She could have bought some food, she knows, but the blonde considers that there is a special meaning behind making soup for somebody you care about, so she resorts to the last idea.

She asked Rosé for help, but the other blonde's cooking abilities are not _exceptional_ either, and Jisoo looked at her incredulously when she brought up the idea, so yes, Lisa is making food on her own.

She checks the recipe her father sent her once again, afraid of messing with the preparation. And maybe a bit afraid of burning the kitchen as well.

So she follows all the steps cautiously.

And a few hours later, she is kind of proud of the result, honestly.

At least it _smells_ good.

Lisa is about to bring the plate up to Jennie's bedroom when she remembers.

She goes to the living room to take one sheet of paper from the top of the coffee table and writes.

_To the most stubborn girl out there,_   
_I hope this makes you feel better._   
_I miss your voice already, so please,_   
_take care of yourself._   
_All the love,_   
_Lisa_

The blonde enters Jennie's room and wakes her up gently.

"Jen, here you got some soup. It's warm and smooth, so it won't hurt, I promise".

The brunette groans and fidgets a bit, but she wakes up.

At the time she is rubbing her eyes and mumbling a weak thank you, Lisa leaves the room.

-  
Later at night, Lisa enters Jennie’s bedroom to check on her.

The brunette is sleeping soundlessly, and Lisa finds out that she is not as warm as she was some hours ago by placing the back of her hand on her groupmate’s forehead.

The plate placed on Jennie’s night table is completely empty, to Lisa´s delight. 

There is no sight of the note.


	7. Friday

Lisa fidgets against the mattress, again.

It's late. The blonde tries to reach her cellphone placed on the top of her night table with her right hand. Her head is still under her pillow, so she fails to grasp the device twice before finally succeeding.

The bright screen makes her frown deeply, and it takes her a while to actually be able to open her eyes and check the time.

2:30 AM. Lisa groans.

She doesn’t have a busy schedule tomorrow, true, but she really, really wanted to make up for all the hours she didn’t get to sleep during the week and _finally_ rest a bit.

Which is exactly what is _not_ happening right now.

Lisa is nervous. Of course she is.

They are at the brink of something great, and as exciting as it is, there is always a scary feeling that comes along with the imminence of success. 

But also, she has other things swimming in her mind.

Like a certain brunette.

Lisa is not exactly sure of what is going on. She knows that the brunette receives her notes, but the lack of response confuses her.

Maybe it is a signal.

Maybe Jennie simply does not like her _that_ way, and considers that silence speaks louder than words.

Lisa feels herself almost tearing up at that prospect. It is kind of pathetic, really.

She knows she should not hope too much.

She knows that there is a fair possibility of her love being one-sided.

And she knows that, given the case, she will have to deal with the rejection and move on.

For the sake of their friendship and for the sake of her group.

Lisa bites her lip as she gets up from her bed.

Maybe some fresh air will help her relax.

She takes the jean jacket that was thrown carelessly on a chair the evening before and tiptoes to the backyard, using the light of her phone to avoid bumping into furniture. She does not feel like waking up the whole dorm. She knows that her bandmates need to rest as much as she does herself.

But as she is opening the French door, she spots a figure already sitting on the vintage bench Rosé bought and installed on their small backyard a few months ago because it looked artsy.

It is Jennie.

The night is clear, the moon shining especially bright above them, providing an almost surreal light.

Lisa reaches silently, trying not to startle her groupmate.

"Jennie?” she whispers softly when she's just a few meters away.

The brunette turns around calmly. She smiles.

"I'm glad I didn’t scare you", Lisa states, a bit surprised.

"I smelled your perfume", Jennie answers.

The blonde grins. 

She sits on the bench besides the brunette, and neither of them speak for a while.

Maybe it is the sleepy state they are both immersed into.

Maybe it is the strange but pleasant stillness that lingers in the air.

Lisa feels the good kind of dizzy.

"Can't sleep?” she finally asks.

"No", Jennie answers, "I've got a lot of things in my mind".

"Yeah, me too. The comeback is almost there".

Jennie stays silent for a second.

She takes a deep breath.

"I'm kind of afraid, honestly. Of not being enough."

Lisa stares at her for a while, but chooses not to say anything. She cherishes the moments in which her groupmate lets her guard down for a second. When she gets to catch her.

"Sometimes, I feel like it is never enough. It doesn't matter how hard I work, how passionate I'm about this, I will never live up everyone’s expectations."

"You don't need to" Lisa says softly.

Jennie looks at her.

"You always give your absolute best. And you know who _knows_ that? Your fans, your friends, your family. And we are all very proud of you. So, why should anybody else matter?"

The brunette stares at Lisa for a quite long time, smiling softly.

They are close now, their thighs together.

Jennie shivers and Lisa remembers.

"You are probably still sick, Jen. You should take care of yourself", she states frowning.

The blonde takes off her jacket and wraps it around Jennie.

It is a bit big for her, and she looks so adorable Lisa does not even feel cold.

On the contrary, she feels very, very warm.

"Thank you, Lisa".

Jennie's eyes are shining bright.

"You should go to sleep, Jen", the blonde states, running her fingers through her groupmate's hair.

"You too", Jennie answers, eyes closed.

"If I go back to bed, will you?"

"Mmh, yes. After five minutes."

The brunette opens her eyes and Lisa stares into them deeply.

She wonders how many times a day she thinks about Jennie's beauty.

Many, she thinks, _not enough_.

"Promise?" Lisa asks. She closes her hands in a fist and raises her pinky finger.

"Promise", Jennie says. She intertwines her own pinky with Lisa's.

They stay like that for a while, actually, and impulsively, Lisa pulls both hands towards her lips, leaving a kiss at the place where her fingers join.

The brunette does not say anything, but does not pull away either. Her lips are slightly open.

Lisa smiles and gets up, still feeling giddy.

"Remember your promise. I'll check", she winks at the brunette, who follows her with her gaze.

"I'll remember", Jennie answers.

That is all Lisa needs.

She goes back inside, but before actually getting into her bedroom, she grabs a post-it from the coffee table at the livingroom.

And she does something that has already become a habit.

_To the most amazing girl out there:_   
_Even though you don't need any beauty sleep,_   
_please, rest._   
_I hope you have the prettiest dreams._   
_So much love,_   
_Lisa._

The blonde sticks the note to Jennie's door room before lying on her own bed again.

-

Lisa cannot sleep, really, but she is not even irritated.

She is still too happy to fall asleep.

She is too _in love_ to fall asleep.

She buries her face in her pillow like a teenager.

This could end so badly, she thinks. _So badly_.

The blonde sighs and wakes up once again to get herself a glass of water. 

On the way, she passes in front of Jennie's room.

There is no note on the door.

Lisa sighs again. She's not getting any sleep.


	8. Saturday

They are all gathered in the living room chatting loudly.

Jennie and Jisoo are sitting on the couch, both with their respective pets lying happily on their laps. Rosé is sitting on the floor, legs crossed, occasionally playing random notes on her guitar. Lisa is side-lying just besides her, letting Luca bite her thumb gently.

They are joyful.

It is still cold outside, winter almost there, but inside the dorm they can enjoy the warmth heaters provide.

They are free for the day, so they woke up as late as they wanted and had lunch as messily as they wanted as well.

Right now, after a few hours, they are simply enjoying each other's company.

"I'm telling you. It's going to be amazing. Fans are going to _absolutely_ love it", Jennie says with excitement.

Lisa smiles. The brunette has been particularly _radiant_ during the whole day, the imminence of the comeback making her feel more energetic, and her groupmates can't help but share her enthusiasm.

"We have worked so hard, after all. I'm so proud of us", Jisoo states, her left hand petting Dalgom's soft fur.

"I can’t wait to perform again", Rosé whines a bit, "It's been like _ages._ " 

"Yeah, same here", Lisa agrees while Luca decides he wants some _real_ food and sprints out of the room.

Jennie claps her hands once, which startled Kuma a little bit, and leans her body slightly forward.

"We will perform again, and we will do amazing. We will kill it singing, we will kill it rapping and we will kill it dancing. Period".

The brunette speaks quickly, kind of loudly. Her eyes are shining in a way Lisa has only seen a few times before. 

It is wonderful.

"Jen is so sure. I raised her well", Jisoo jokes.

Jennie smiles, a bit embarrassed, but joins Rosé's and Lisa's choir of laughter a second later.

"But she's right, anyway", the shortest blonde agrees, "We will _slay_ it".

Rosé starts to play with melodies again.

"I really hope so. Fans have been so supportive. I can’t wait to give something back", she states.

Her bandmates hum in agreement.

"They are leaving the cutest comments. They are so excited", Jennie says, her dreamy eyes moving up to the roof.

Lisa, not surprisingly, is staring at her.

She finds Jennie beautiful in every occasion _ever_. But there's something just so special about Jennie opening up, showing her passion and her determination and her pure love towards her fans.

Or maybe it is the way in which her cat-like eyes sparkle with raw emotion, or the way in which her gummy smile seems to light up the whole room, or the way in which the slight wrinkles around her nose makes her look like the purest human being ever.

Lisa feels herself falling all over again and just _harder_. 

She is so in love she feels like her chest may burst with the pressure of all her feelings contained.

She feels warmth blooming from her hart to her stomach, her face heating up a bit.

It is too much, Lisa thinks, and she knows that she must have _love_ written all over her face, so she tears her gaze away from Jennie’s features almost painfully.

She realizes that, while she was diving in her elated sort of trance, her groupmates have changed the topic to the outfits they expect to be wearing for their next performances. 

So she makes an effort to listen.

"I don't know. I want to be able to wear sneakers for once", Jisoo complains.

"Ah, the benefits of being tall", Rosé jokes.

Both blondes and Jennie laugh at Jisoo's dramatic gasp.

They fall into a comfortable silence for a short while, until Jennie speaks.

"We should go for a walk or something. I can't feel my legs". She moves a bit to emphasize her point.

Kuma, as if offended by the comment, wakes up and jumps off of his owner's lap. Dalgom follows quickly, eager to play with his furry friend.

"Yeah! We can also buy some food", Rosé agrees.

"I think I'll stay. I'm fine here, not moving at all", Jisoo states.

Lisa considers the situation for a moment.

"I think I'll stay as well. I don't feel like facing the weather today".

Jennie looks at her a bit surprised. The youngest blonde _loves_ going out, especially just to walk around calmly.

However, she doesn't say anything. Lisa must have her reasons.

And she kind of does, really.

"Okay. I'll go change".

The oldest blonde stands up, her guitar in her hand.

"Yeah, me too".

Soon, Jisoo and Lisa are the only ones in the livingroom.

The blonde starts to try to come up with a way of sneakily writing one of her usual notes, but Jisoo interrupts her thoughts.

"Okay, I'll go to my room so you can do your thing".

"My _thing_?” Lisa asks, surprised.

"Yes, your _thing_ ", Jisoo rolls her eyes "your love letters."

Lisa stares at her silently, visible shocked.

"Did you think you were being subtle? You leave those _everywhere_ ".

The blonde does not say anything. She just stays still, mouth slightly open.

"I mean it’s cheesy", Jisoo stands up and begins to reach for the door, "but kind of cute." She smiles before actually leaving.

Lisa shakes her head. She will think about it later. She knows that even though Jennie usually spends _ages_ preparing herself when going out, she will not last forever. Especially with Rosé most surely knocking on her bedroom door every five minutes.

So the blonde takes a piece of paper and begins to write, but she stops abruptly.

Lisa reflects for a second before throwing the note away.

Jennie looks so special today that the blonde feels like making something different.

She takes a new piece of paper and folds it until it has the shape of a heart, just like her mother taught her when she was a child, and writes on its back.

_To the most wonderful girl out there,_   
_I hope you get nothing but the best,_   
_because that's exactly what you deserve._   
_Thank you for inspiring me._   
_All the love that can fit in my heart,_   
_Lisa_

Jisoo is right, Lisa thinks. It is very cheesy.

But completely sincere.

She ponders on where to leave the note, and after scanning the room with her eyes, she spots the coat rack at the corner besides the door. There they hang both Jennie's very expensive please-use-it-with-care Chanel blazer and Jisoo's comfortable-but-fashionable black jacket. 

She puts her note inside one the pockets of Jennie's garment.

Just a few moments later, all her bandmates enter the living room.

Lisa pretends to use her cellphone.

"So, you are not coming?" Jennie asks her.

The youngest blonde looks up from the screen and denies with her head. 

"It's okay. You have fun. Bring food!"

Rosé smiles big and pats Lisa's back.

Jennie takes the blazer off of the coat rack and puts it on.

"Oh, I forgot my jacket", the tallest blonde pouts lightly, "I'll go for it".

"It’s all right, you can use mine", Jisoo offers.

Rosé beams.

"Oh, thank you!"

Jennie merely smirks and drags her friend to the front door.

-

Jennie and Rosé come back a few hours later with maybe too many bags of takeout in their hands.

As they began to take the food out of their packaging, Lisa cheers loudly.

"Oh, you bought fries! Thank you!”

"Yeah", the other blonde comments, "Jennie insisted to buy some, even though we were a bit far away from the place". She looks at Jennie with a mixture of slight reproach and amusement.

The brunette shrugs.

After eating, Lisa realizes Jennie did not eat a single fry.

She does not ask her about it. Not even when they end up alone, just the two of them, washing the dishes in the kitchen.

Lisa does not ask her about the note either.


	9. Sunday

Lisa feels the not-so-good kind of dizzy.

Every nerve of her body is currently very, very awake, and she's practically vibrating with anxiety.

Today is the day.

She tried to be subtle, she truly did.

But Lisa is so tired of the endless swelling on her chest, all her feelings kept there pressing hard.

She is kind of acting against her logic, honestly, but things are getting just harder and harder, her throat is physically aching with the pressure of all her unvoiced feelings.

It is currently mid-morning, and Lisa already sneaked out a bit earlier to purchase a box of chocolates and the most elegant bouquet of blue hyacinths se could find. 

It is a classic, but the blonde has seen the way in which, despite throwing sneaky comment, Jennie's eyes soften at the prospect of cheesy romantic gestures.

She folded a few small paper hearts as well, just to add a little something.

And after taking a rather too expensive kind of paper she also bought as an impulse a few hours ago, she begins to write.

However, just as is starting with the first line, she gets interrupted by a knock on her door.

"Yes?" Lisa half yells.

"Can I come in?" 

The blonde recognizes Rosé’s voice.

"Sure!"

Her older groupmate enters the room carrying two shirts, a white one with a few flowers sprawled on its collar and a striped, old pink one.

"Are you busy?"

"Kind of, but it can wait. What do you need?"

"I want your opinion. The white one or the pink one?"

"For your date with Jisoo?"

Rosé's cheeks heat up, a shade of crimson starts to make itself visible.

"It's not a date! We are going to that café we've been talking about!" she protests.

Lisa smirks and rolls her eyes.

"Whatever you say. The white one. Jisoo will like it."

The oldest blonde huffs a bit, but stares at Lisa's chosen garment for a while.

"Yes, it will look better".

Lisa snorts.

"What are you doing anyway?"

"I'm writing a letter", Lisa says quite composed, "I'm confessing to Jennie".

Rosé stares at her for a while, her mouth slightly agape.

"I know you know. Jisoo is right, I'm not exactly _subtle_. And it's driving me crazy, so I'm just going to go for it".

The taller girl smiles.

"I'm proud of you, Lis".

The youngest licks her lips nervously.

"I'll let you finish. Everything will be alright, you'll see". Rosé hugs Lisa tightly before leaving the room.

-

Jennie is still sleeping. Lisa knows that that is the way in which she usually spends her Sunday mornings.

She paces outside the brunette's room and re-reads the letter she already knows by heart.

_To Jennie:_  
 _I've been bottling up so many feelings I don't know where to start._  
 _It's kind of a shame really, because I know you probably deserve so much more. Like an epic poem, worth of being published, or a teeth-rotting serenade under the stars of a summer night._  
 _But I'm messy, and honestly, terribly scared, so this is all I can offer you right now._  
 _It's not much, and maybe not nearly enough, but it's honest._  
~  
 _Lately, I've been reminiscing the first time I saw you._  
 _I was just a kid honestly, who had made not-very-wise hair decisions and just moved to a country which language had only heard maybe twice._  
 _I was dancing, as usual, trying to stick to things that were familiar to me as not to take the first plane back to Thailand and give up on my dreams._  
 _And then you appeared._  
 _You looked so sassy back then, your ripped jeans fitting so well with your bad girl vibes, and I remember being a bit startled by your beauty._  
 _Of course._  
 _I didn't say anything back then because, well, you might have been a bit intimidating._  
 _And I remember spending a few days like that, a bit lost, a lot homesick, watching you and other trainees performing confidently and thinking that maybe I should just go home._  
 _But one day, you spoke to me._  
 _In English._  
 _And I knew very well no one was allowed to._  
 _I don't think I ever told you just how much that gesture meant to me._  
 _I’ll just tell you it was the reason why I stayed._  
 _And one of the reasons why I started working harder than ever in every single lesson._  
 _Afterwards, meeting you was like a rollercoaster._  
 _You are so passionate, and so determined, and just a little stubborn maybe, you truly helped me to feel a little more confident about myself as well._  
 _You inspire me._  
 _I knew back then that you were going to succeed just by seeing the fire blazing in your eyes, and now I'm lucky enough to watch you grow even stronger._  
 _And yes, it wasn't easy._  
 _It still gets too hard sometimes, so much to lose, so much energy invested in trying to let us down._  
 _But I've seen the way you stood up every time you fell down._  
 _So even if my heart aches when you swallow your tears,_  
 _I just know you will rise again._  
~  
 _Along the way,_  
 _I fell for you._  
 _I truly don't know when it happened, Jen._  
 _I don't know when I started to notice the way your eyes shine with a different light with each one of your emotions._  
 _I don't know when I started to long for being able to trace the curve of your nose with my fingertips._  
 _I don't know when I started to lose my breath every time you smile, whether big and sincere, at the middle of a laugh, or small and mischievous, teasing lightly for fun_  
 _I don't know when I started to realize your skin glistens when being kissed by the sun, in such a way I have started to consider that a part of you may be truly made of pure gold after all._  
~  
 _I love you._  
 _I love you like a friend, first._  
 _In a way I trust you deeply, and I want to tell you all about my day, and I want to complain with you about how boring it is to rehearse the same song for the fifteenth time on the same day._  
 _In a way I want to paint your nails, and do your hair, and just cuddle watching the most stupid TV series this decade can offer us._  
 _But I also love you like a lover._  
 _In the way my dad loves my mum, unconditionally and thoroughly, with all virtues and flaws you can offer me._  
 _In the way I want to caress your face with my thumb, and whisper sweet nothings on your ear, and just kiss you tenderly until everything else fades away._  
~  
 _And I'm sorry I didn’t tell you before._  
 _But I was so, so scared, and I still am, because I'm sure about the way I love you, but I'm absolutely clueless about the way you feel about me._  
 _So, because I’m in love with you, I’m willing to prove it every day of my life._  
 _And because I’m in love with you, I’m also willing to let you go be happy somewhere else._  
 _Please, let me know._  
 _With loads of that kind of love,_  
 _Lisa_

This is it, the blonde thinks. This is it.

Enough being a coward.

Lisa tiptoes into Jennie's room.

The brunette is in a too deep pleasant sleep to be bothered by the intrusion.

The blonde leaves the flowers, the chocolates, the paper hearts and the letter on the top of Jennie's night table.

She feels like she's leaving a lot more.

-  
Lisa comes back home a few hours later.

She knew that waiting at the dorm would drive her crazy, so she has been wandering around the neighborhood as anonymously as she could until just reaching the evening.

She is currently standing at the front door.

She takes a deep breath and finally gets inside.

Everything is quite silent, so she guesses that Jisoo and Rosé are still out on her definitely-not-a-date date.

Lisa feels the knot at the stomach tighten just a little too much as she wonders around the dorm.

Just as she thought Jennie might still be asleep, she spots in the kitchen, sitting at the table and eating some leftover sushi.

The blonde closes her hands into fists so as to gain a bit of confidence.

"Hi", she says, cautiously.

Jennie looks startled.

And she avoids her gaze.

"Hi", she only says.

Lisa feels her chest already hurting.

"Uh, do you want some?" the brunette offers.

And that is when the blonde's heart tears apart.

"No", she manages to choke out, before leaving the room as quickly as she can, sprinting to her own bedroom.

She breaks down crying before she gets to lie on her bed.

That is the signal. _Silence._

_Jennie does not love you back._

-

Some rooms away, Jennie is still sitting on her chair, her face buried between her hands.

She is confused, and sorry, and guilty.

And mainly, she is scared.


	10. Monday

Jennie doesn’t want to get up from bed.

It’s mid-morning already, and she’s completely free.

Preparations ended the week before, fortunately, and now the whole group has fallen into the always nerve-wrecking pre-release period.

But Jennie's lack of sleep has little to do with their imminent comeback.

She feels _shitty_.

She’s uncomfortable under her covers, but still too much cold, as if all the doubts on her mind were being reflected on her body.

There’s a soft knock on her door.

Her heartbeat picks up.

"Jennie?"

The brunette tries to ignore the sudden disappointment she feels when hearing the voice of her oldest groupmate.

"Yes?"

"Breakfast's ready and Rosé has already claimed half of the pancakes. You should come".

Jennie really, _really_ wants to stay the whole day with her head under her pillow, hiding away from every mistake ever.

But she knows she can't.

"I'm coming".

The brunette gets up and searches for the thickest hoodie she can find in her closet.

And still shivering a little, she moves to the kitchen.

Rosé is already eating, of course, her cheeks slightly puffy, but she still mumbles a greeting.

Jisoo is sitting close besides her, a coffee cup warming her hands.

Jennie licks her lips a bit nervously and sits on her chair after greeting her friend as well.

She notices the emptiness of Lisa’s chair right away, of course.

Times passes by slowly, Jisoo and Rosé are talking to each other softly, and Jennie can't just keep ignoring her groupmate’s absence.

"Where's Lisa?” she asks a bit shakily.

There’s a beat of silence that Rosé is quick to cover.

"She's having breakfast outside. She said she felt like going out".

Jennie knows that the explanation is _weak_. Lisa loves going out, yes, but always with her arm intertwined with one of her groupmate’s. Usually, Jennie’s.

Lisa just doesn’t like being alone. 

The tallest brunette tries to make the taste of guilt fade away from her mouth by adding extra sugar to her latte.

She fails.

-  
Rosé didn't exactly specify for _how long_ Lisa was going to be away, but to be fair, Jennie did not ask either.

It’s almost evening already, and the brunette would be really worried about Lisa’s safety if it wasn’t for the calm way in which the rest of her groupmates are currently sprawled on the couch watching a movie.

She figures that the youngest blonde has been updating either Jisoo or Rosé with her location throughout her phone. 

Jennie breathes deeply, as an attempt to ease the pressure in her chest produced by the thought of Lisa choosing to trust somebody else before her.

Or maybe it is the thought of Lisa not being able to trust her _anymore_ the one that makes her hands shake a bit. 

She tries to focus in the movie, but keeps tapping her foot rhythmically against the floor. The scenes on the screen kind of fade away as she thinks about all the possible places in which Lisa could be wandering at the moment.

She knows that the blonde can get lonely easily. 

She also knows that sensitive Lisa needs all the caring and affection and soft words in the world. 

Things Jennie is unable to provide her.

-  
It’s well-advanced afternoon when Lisa comes back.

Jisoo is reading sitting on the floor, her lap being used as a pillow by a sleeping Rosé, who decided that the brunette's legs were way more comfortable than their couch.

Once in a while, the oldest girl lets her fingers run through the blonde's soft locks.

Jennie is playing with Kuma just a few meters away, the sight of her friends easing a bit the tightness of her throat and filling her mind with thoughts she prevents herself from indulging in.

They are cute, though.

And just when she’s starting to consider that maybe she _could_ just tell Jisoo some things and end her spree of unvoiced feelings, Lisa enters through the door.

She does it silently, completely off-character, her mouth curved downwards in a way Jennie has truly never seen before.

She scans the room quickly and avoids the youngest brunette's gaze awkwardly.

However, a second later, her eyes soften at the sight her groupmates.

"Hi", she murmurs, aware of Rose's sleeping state.

"Hello. Had fun?" Jisoo asks tenderly.

Jennie wonders if she knows what happened between them.

"Yes. I brought takeout".

Lisa raises her hands to show the bags filled with Thai food she bought on her way home.

Jisoo cheers silently, only moving her arms.

The blonde lets out a chuckle that doesn't reach her eyes and Jennie just aches.

-

It’s almost midnight already.

Jennie is hugging the plushie Lisa have her years ago as a gift for her twentieth birthday.

She only resorts to the fluffy toy when she’s feeling too sad or too worried to fall asleep.

She guesses she can still use it when having a turmoil of mixed emotions.

However, Jennie discovers quickly that she’s going to face another restless night. 

She rubs her eyes with the back of her fingers.

Lisa did not direct a _single_ word towards her during the whole day. 

It was awkward, of course, and she expected it to be that way.

What she did not expect, tough, was the desperate sob that wanted to escape from her throat every time the blonde smiled just _brokenly_.

Lisa is meant to be radiant, and fun, and loving, and a bit silly. She is meant to shine as if being an extension of the sun itself and she is meant to make terrible jokes Jennie has to pretend not to find hilarious.

The brunette feels as if somehow, she blew Lisa's flame.

And it honestly hurts.

She stands up from bed feeling a bit lost, the plushie pressed hard against her heart.

It’s _despairing_ , she thinks.

Lisa has just ignored her for _one day_ and she is already broken-hearted.

She paces for a while, biting her lip harshly.

She’s cold.

The room is mild. She made sure to keep all the windows closed during the day to avoid wintery breeze making its way into her room.

But she’s still freezing somehow. 

And then she remembers.

Jennie opens her closet and searches for Lisa's jean jacket, the one that the blonde lent her just a few days ago and Jennie _totally_ forgot to give back a definitely _did not_ hide inside one of her drawers.

She puts the garment on.

And when Lisa's scent reaches her nose, she just breaks down crying.

She misses her.

She misses her so fucking much already, it’s kind of ridiculous.

She misses Lisa's laugh, and her touch, and her voice.

And honestly, she misses _something more_ than Lisa’s loveable nature. 

She misses the notes.

Jennie feels the sudden urge to punch herself at the realization.

It should not be that _essential_ for her, really, under the light of everything that is going on right now, to find short notes sticked on random places, sometimes along with the cheesiest gifts ever.

But it is.

She has not admitted it until right now, and it is _still_ kind of scary.

But she cannot keep hiding the truth, at least not from herself.

Lisa's notes were the highlight of Jennie's days.


	11. Tuesday

Jennie wakes up feeling already more miserable than the day before.

Still under her covers, she turns on her phone to check the time.

It is too much early.

Jennie groans, knowing she will not be able to fall asleep again.

She rolls her body heavily and stays like that for a while, her chest against the mattress, and just _thinks_.

She wonders how long it will take for Lisa to start showing again the radiant smile Jennie pretends not to adore.

Does Lisa realize just how much she means to her?

Has she ever told her? 

Jennie presses her forehead hard against the soft fabric of her pillow. 

Kuma, who was sleeping at her feet, wakes up gradually. He moves towards Jennie's face until he’s able to lick her nose.

The brunette turns around again and pets his fur absently.

"You know what should I do, Kuma?"

Jennie gets no answer.

"I thought I knew. But now I don't. I just don't know".

She's frustrated and uncomfortable, her head aching a bit despite the short time she's been awake.

-

Breakfast was terrible.

Well, not the food. The food was very good, actually.

The terrible part was the way in which Lisa spoke only when absolutely necessary, her voice low and her eyes glued to her cup of coffee.

Rosé and Jisoo tried to ease the tension a little bit, filling awkward silences with silly stories and bad jokes, and even though they didn't exactly _succeed_ , Jennie still feels that things would have been much worse without them.

However, it is a bit hard to stay positive when having a constant knot tightening in your throat.

It is evening, currently, even though the clouds that fill up the sky are too dark for her to see the sunset.

She is standing in the middle of the backyard, expecting some fresh air to clear her mind a little bit.

It does not work, unsurprisingly, and Jennie considers that she needs to go inside before getting sick once more.

She also realizes that given the case, Lisa won’t be there to pamper her until being healthy again.

The thought just makes her pout unconsciously.

But she doesn’t rush inside. Instead, she paces around the backyard, a bit lost, wondering what to do.

Which has become pretty usual lately.

A movie, Jennie suddenly thinks.

She will watch the saddest movie she can find to provide herself with a more or less acceptable excuse to wail helplessly on the floor. 

So Jennie sprints to the livingroom to claim the TV. 

But just as she reaches the door, she realizes that Lisa is already there.

The taller girl is sitting on the coach with Leo on her lap. The cat is looking at her almost sadly, his head lightly tilted while Lisa pets his hears. 

There is a faint wrinkle between the blonde’s eyes Jennie knows it only appears when the blonde is thinking deeply.

The brunette stares at her groupmate. Lisa is just so _gorgeous_ it’s kind of surreal.

But the blonde turns her head suddenly, almost sensing Jennie's presence.

They just look at each other for a moment before Lisa stands up, Leo in her arms.

"Sorry, I'll just go".

"No! It's okay. I mean, I came later".

"It's alright. I have to buy some things for Leo, anyway".

And just like that, without sparing a glance at her, Lisa is gone.

Jennie thinks she will definitely have to come up with an excuse to skip dinner.

-

It’s midnight already, and Jennie, staring blankly at her wall, begins to wonder what kind of note she would be receiving if it wasn't for her own stupidity.

She’s wearing Lisa’s jacket again, the scent that surrounds her filling her both with comfort and melancholy.

She begins to go over the possibility of, tomorrow morning, pretending to be asleep in order to avoid the unpleasantness of breakfast hours. But her thoughts get interrupted by a knock on her door.

Jennie stays silent, hoping for whoever is outside to let her sulk in her own.

"Jennie, I know you are there and I know you are ignoring me. Open the door so I can scold you properly."

The youngest brunette recognizes Jisoo’s voice and knows very well that she is only half kidding. 

She also knows that her groupmate won't go anywhere anytime soon.

So Jennie stands up unwillingly and lets Jisoo in.

The shorter girl stomps a bit, her arms crossed against her chest, and she's just about to say something until her eyes meets the ones of her groupmate.

She realizes Jennie has been crying hard, her slightly swollen cheeks and still teary orbs giving it away.

"Jennie", she sighs, "I know it's not easy for you, but please, open up just a bit. What's going on? Why are you and Lisa avoiding each other? You both look so depressed it’s upsetting".

The taller brunette considers for a second. Maybe Lisa does not feel like sharing her feelings with _everybody_.

"I...I fucked up." 

"Okay, well, but how?"

"Lisa...told me something..."

"She confessed", Jisoo interrupts.

Jennie looks at her, a bit startled.

"Yes. She wrote me a letter."

Jisoo raises both her eyebrows and makes a gesture with her head. She's getting impatient.

"And I didn’t answer."

The oldest brunette frowns deeply.

"Why?"

"What was I supposed to say?" Jennie is raising her tone without noticing "’ _I’m sorry, I don't love you like that_ ’?"

The way in which Jisoo opens her eyes would be comical if it wasn't for the nature of the situation.

"No. You were supposed to say ‘ _I love you back, Lisa. Let's get together and just be happy forever_ ’'".

Jennie almost finds the poor imitation of her voice funny. Almost.

"I don't, though".

"You don't _what_?"

"I don't love her back. Not like she wants me to".

Jisoo stares at her blankly for almost a complete minute. Jennie's hands start to shake just lightly.

"I don’t know if you think I'm stupid or if you are _that_ oblivious".

The tallest blonde doesn't open her mouth. She sits on her bed.

Jisoo kneels in front of her. She’s looking at Jennie in such a comforting way the youngest girl has to make an effort so as not to break down crying right there.

It is _too much_.

"Jen, it's me. C'mon. You know you can tell me anything". She rubs her hands up and down the sides of Jennie's thighs. 

"I...I don't know. It's just..."

There is a beat of silence.

She has been keeping _so much_ for herself. So many words, so many tears. Jennie feels like she is stumbling at her limit.

"I'm scared", she admits, her whispered voice breaking at the end of her statement. She feels tears in her eyes, both because she means it and because she feels as if she just took some weight out from inside her chest. 

Jennie breathes deeply.

"Scared of what?"

"I don't even know. I just… scared…of losing everything". 

Tears start to escape from her eyes.

"And do you think Lisa is not? Jennie, this is _killing_ her".

There is a slight reproach in her voice, and Jennie simply snaps. The thought of Lisa suffering makes her heart tug hard.

And she is so damn tired.

"Do you think that I don't know? That I don't care, Jisoo?" she starts to sob, hot tears soaking her cheeks, "Do you thing I don't fucking _ache_ every time Lisa doesn't smile at me? Do you even _know_ how much I love her? _Do you?_

She can't talk anymore, all her feelings pouring out from her throat without control. She falls forwards violently, but luckily, Jisoo is there to catch her.

The older brunette caresses her back softly.

"It's okay, Jen. I've got you".

"It will break us, Jisoo", Jennie is choking her words, her face buried on her friend's neck, "it won't work and it will tear us apart. And I don't want to lose her. I can’t lose her".

The oldest brunette pulls away gently and holds Jennie's cheeks in her hands.

"Why, Jennie? Why wouldn't it work? Are you afraid because of the group? Because of what people would say?"

"It's not _other people_ , Jisoo. It's me. I'm _shit_ ".

The shorter girl looks at her stunned for a few seconds before frowning deeply.

"What do you mean, Jen?"

"Lisa deserves someone who showers her with love. She deserves to wake up to find homemade breakfast on her night table and to fall asleep with somebody singing a song at her ear". Jennie's sobs died down a bit, so she is talking quickly, taking a short breath between each few words. 

"And you think you can't give her that?" Jisoo asks, incredulous. 

"I _know_ I can't. I just can’t love like that. I am not worth it, Jisoo"

"Are you sure, Jennie? Because I've seen the way you stare at Lisa when she’s not looking. And I’ve seen the way in which you always make sure to buy her favorite things despite having to make an extra effort. And I've definitely seen the way you caress her cheeks with your thumb when she falls asleep while watching a movie. An honestly, if that doesn’t fucking scream _love_ , then I just don’t know what love is".

Jennie blinks a few times, speechless.

"Do you think Lisa doesn't know that you struggle? She's been pining over you for years. She knows almost _everything_ about you. And she still choses you. Because she doesn't care. Because she doesn't want you to be perfect, she wants you to be _Jennie_ ".

Jisoo stares into the brunette's eyes.

"Can you do that? Can you be _Jennie_?"

The tallest brunette nods once, unsure.

"Then you are more than good enough for Lisa".

Jennie feels it. She feels the hope blooming from the bottom of her heart, expanding throughout her whole body.

She is still staring at Jisoo, wordless. 

It is not necessary for her to speak. The vibrancy of her eyes is telling Jisoo everything she’s still unable to.

Jennie fights to find her voice.

"Do you really think...it could work?"

The shortest brunette rolls her eyes.

"Yes, Jennie. I think that you will have to work on some issues, true, but you are so ridiculously in love with each other you might end up getting married in like, two years or so".

Jennie smiles without realizing. 

And when she does realize, she does not stop.

It can work.

It actually _can_.

She will have to work hard, for sure. But she will make it worth it for both of them.

Jisoo looks at her with amusement before she raises an eyebrow.

"You need to talk with Lisa".

Jennie stands up so fast she kind of loses balance.

"But not now! Rosé was able to finally put her to sleep after finding out she spent the past three nights staring at the ceiling".

The tallest brunette feels a pang of guilt. She _really_ needs to talk to Lisa. And to apologize.

"But hey!" Jisoo threatens her with her index finger "First thing in the morning. Before Lisa decides to just choose between the endless number of girls and boys that are lining up for her".

"Hey!" Jennie is suddenly upset, frowning deeply with a slight pout on her lips.

Her fiend laughs openly.

"I'm taking Rosé out to have breakfast so you can talk freely. Be wise, Jen. And sleep".

Jisoo hugs her friend and pats her back a few times before actually moving towards the door.

Before reaching the doorknob though, she turns around, serious.

"And don't break her heart again. She's a strong girl, but we are not."

Jennie nods.

"I promise", the tallest brunette says.

And she means it.


	12. Wednesday

Jennie actually gets to sleep a little.

Not a lot, really, she’s already stretching her limbs some minutes after 8:00 AM, but she knows she doesn’t get to complain.

She feels somehow lighter, the knot placed at the bottom of her throat gave up a bit, and the pressure over her chest seems more bearable than yesterday.

She knows she still has a lot to do. She has a lot to apologize for. A lot of explanations to give.

But for the first time in days, Jennie feels ready for what’s coming next.

Her eyes drift to the plushie she hugged in her sleep last night and smiles a little.

Jennie is not oblivious. She knows that she’s taking a risk.

She knows that she's risking her emotional integrity, but most importantly, she's risking the strong bond she has with the blonde.

And she could take the risk _for Lisa_ , of course. And that would, ultimately, be easy. She would do _anything_ for her.

But that's not a weigh Jennie wants to put on her groupmate's shoulder.

She’s going to do it for herself.

Because she wants to be happy.

And honestly, nothing makes her as happy as Lisa does.

She can only hope for the blonde to still feel that way about her too.

She can only hope it’s not too late.

-

"So, you are doing it, right?" Jisoo asks.

"Yes", Jennie mumbles.

She looks so tiny wearing an oversized hoodie and putting a strand of hair behind her ear out of nervousness that Rosé steps forwards to hug her tightly.

"It will be okay, Jen. Just tell the Lisa the truth", she whispers in her ear. 

Jennie presses her hands lightly on the blonde's back. She really needs all the support she can get now.

Rosé pulls away gently and returns to her previous position, holding Jisoo's hand besides the front door.

"I will. You two have fun on your date".

Jennie smirks a bit at the blush that the comment produces on both of her friend's cheeks.

Jisoo smiles tenderly.

"We'll try", she says jokingly, but turns her head to look into Rose's eyes for a moment, the expression on her face screaming _love_.

They stay like that for a while until Jennie clears her throat.

Rosé gets a bit startled, but doesn’t let go Jisoo's hand.

"Okay. We'll go. Make it work, Jen!"

The shortest brunette smiles at her one last time before she opens the door.

"And don't forget your promise".

“I won’t”.

She doesn’t think she _can_ forget it.

-

Jennie clasps her hands together, trying to stop them from shaking too violently.

Saying she's nervous would be an understatement.

She's _terrified_ , her heart beating so fast she would be worried if she could think about anything else besides what’s about to happen.

She takes the bouquet of pink roses she bought as an impulse some minutes ago and analyzes it.

It's not _perfect_ , Jennie thinks, but she tries to push away the thought before she sprints to another flower shop.

She needs to be confident.

The brunette is currently in the livingroom, sitting on the couch, trying to go over the speech she came up with just before falling asleep the night before.

She keeps changing it, though.

There is always a little extra detail about Lisa that seems essential to be mentioned.

She'll manage, she thinks.

Rosé is right. She just has to be sincere.

Just as Jennie is about to ponder on all the possible negative outcomes of her imminent confession, she hears faint footsteps coming closer and closer.

 _Not being scared_ , Jennie thinks as she bits hard on her lower lip.

_Not running away._

The brunette takes a deep, shaky breath while she stands from the couch.

_This is it._

She follows the sounds of sneakers tapping against the floor and finds Lisa stepping into the kitchen.

She’s wearing skinny jeans and a soft-looking white sweater, and she looks so beautiful that Jennie gets distracted for a second.

The brunette opens her mouth but does not produce any sound.

She needs to get it right.

However, Lisa turns around a bit too quickly, her eyes a wide in surprise.

They stare at each other for a few seconds, and Jennie almost, almost sprints to her own bedroom.

But she doesn’t.

"Hey, Lisa", her voice is weak, so she tightens her fists to gather a bit of strength, "Do you have some time? You know....to talk".

The blonde looks absolutely perplex for a moment, but then her face turns to a sorrowful expression.

She doesn’t answer right away, and Jennie fears that Lisa ended up deciding she doesn’t want to hear what she has to say anymore.

"Yes. I do."

The brunette feels like jumping with relief.

"Oh, right now?" the blonde asks her incredulously. She’s looking at Jennie with a lot of confusion and a bit of concern.

"Yeah. I mean...if you are free"

"Yes, I am. So... here?"

"Is the livingroom okay?"

That's the place Jennie has been choosing for her imaginary scenarios. There is a sense of familiarity regarding that place Jennie knows it is sort of ridiculous. 

But she _really_ hopes it will calm her nerves just a bit.

“Yes”, the blonde answers.

The brunette waits for her groupmate to reach the room first. She follows just behind.

Lisa sits on the right side of the couch. She starts to play with her fingers without daring to look up.

Jennie sits at the left with her legs crossed.

She honestly feels like throwing up.

Silence stretches for too long and Jennie struggles to speak.

Her speech is long forgotten, and she’s desperately trying to gather the courage she needs to just tell Lisa _everything_.

She really wants to.

But just as Jennie is about to open her mouth, Lisa speaks first.

"I'm sorry."

Lisa's words come out chocked, her eyes filled with unreleased tears.

Jennie stares at her for a moment, confused.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Jennie. I'm sorry I did this to you".

Lisa is crying, the brunette registers. She really wants to gather the girl between her arms and caress her hair until tears sop falling, but she doesn't know if she is allowed to. 

"What do you mean, Lisa?” she asks, instead.

"I know I ruined everything, Jennie. I should've stopped. I should've waited until these ridiculous feelings went away instead of making a fool of myself".

Jennie wants to protest, but Lisa's words just hit her right in her chest and she's currently out of breath.

"I should’ve known you didn’t love me. But I couldn't stop myself. I kept sending you those _stupid_ love notes even though you never answered, and I was dense enough not to realize you were telling me that my feelings were completely one-sided."

The blonde is sobbing between words. Her hands are covering her face as she takes short breaths.

"I miss you, Jennie. Please, forgive me. Let me be the friend you want me to be".

"No..." the shortest girl chokes. She’s crying as well, tears covering her cheeks.

Lisa takes her hands off of her eyes. She looks devastated.

"Jennie-"

"Don't call them _that_ , please".

The blonde blinks, confused.

"The notes weren't stupid, Lisa, and neither are your feelings. Stop saying that. It hurts me".

The vulnerability in her voice makes the blonde's eyes soften.

She understands what's going on.

"You don't have to say that, Jennie, I know-"

"Please, Lisa", Jennie interrupts. She’s desperate, tears keep falling from her eyes relentlessly, "Let me explain".

The tallest girl is about to tell Jennie that she has nothing to _explain_ , but the pleading eyes staring at hers stop her from voicing her thoughts.

"Then you can say anything you want. But let me talk first".

Lisa looks at her. She nods.

Jennie takes a deep breath, both out of relief and to steady her voice.

She doesn't hesitate this time.

"I love you".

Jennie sees the way in which Lisa's expression is filled with surprise for a moment before it becomes sorrowful again. There is a sad smile on her lips.

The brunette can practically read her thoughts.

" _No_. I love you like _that_. I love you like a girlfriend. Romantically".

Everything falls into complete silence while Lisa's wide eyes scan Jennie's, searching for a trace of a lie.

The blonde's eyes become teary again.

"No, Jennie. You don't get to just...No."

She’s shaking her head almost violently, her brows furrowed.

"I'm so sorry, Lisa", Jennie is sobbing while she keeps her eyes glued to the blonde’s, "I really wanted to tell you before. I did. But I am a coward, and I just ruin _everything_ ".

Lisa stays silent.

"But I love you, Lisa. Fuck, I've been falling for you for _years_. And it was so gradual, so perfect, that I didn’t even realize. And one day I just woke up thinking how you were the most stunning girl _ever_ , and that I wanted to be with you forever, and then I started to think about all the cheesy things I could do just to make you _smile_ ".

Jennie makes short pause to gather some air to stop the aching in her lungs.

"And then I became aware of all those feelings and it was just _terrifying_. I hoped they would go away, but they never did. And then you started to be even _more perfect_ and you sent all those notes which made me smile and blush like a teenager, and it was even _worse_. And then...the letter."

Lisa flinches a bit.

"It made me cry, Lisa. It made me cry because of happiness and because I knew there was not turning back right then. Because I was so close of getting what I've wanted for so long but I just couldn't reach it".

"But why, Jennie? If you love me as you say you do, then why won't you just let me love you back?"

"Because I don't deserve you, Lisa."

The blonde opens her mouth and stares at her groupmate with mixture of anger and concern.

"I'm a fucking mess. I can't love you like you would like me to. Sometimes I don’t even know how to express what I feel, and It makes me sad and angry altogether. And you are so open, and so good, and so radiant. You deserve so much better, Lisa."

There it is.

Jennie feels the way in which her body tingles with relief. She’s exhausted, but feels as if she can finally breathe freely. 

The truth is out.

Meanwhile, Lisa stopped crying. 

She reaches her hand out to hold Jennie's, which takes the brunette off guard.

"I do not want you to love me like anybody else would, Jennie. I want you to love me as you _can_ ".

The brunette looks at Lisa in wonder. Her heart is beating fast.

"Do you...still want me to? After _everything_?"

She doesn’t pretend to hide the trace of hope that can be heard in her voice.

"Of course I do, Jen. I've been in love with you for years."

Jennie smiles, her lips trembling a bit.

"What do _you_ want?"

"I want to be with you", the brunette answers without hesitation.

That earns her the most gorgeous smile she has ever seen in her life.

They stare at each other for a long while. Jennie's hand starts to caress Lisa's cheek.

"Thank you. I'll do my best. I promise".

"I know", Lisa answers, "You don't have to thank me".

The blonde closes her eyes for a moment.

"So," Jennie begins a bit hesitatingly, "would you let me take you out on a date?"

Lisa pouts lightly before answering.

"But I wanted to take you out first! I have everything planned!"

"But I asked _first_ ", Jennie complains playfully, her eyes filled with pure love, "and I have everything planned as well. I've been planning for _years_." she chuckles, "You can organize our second date".

"You got yourself two dates in one conversation. I'm impressed", Lisa jokes. She's looking at Jennie as if she hung the moon up in the sky.

The brunette chuckles lightly.

"Gotta make up for lost time".

They stare at each other a little more. It feels surreal.

Lisa averts her eyes for a second and notices the neglected bouquet flowers that still lays pristine on the top of the coffee table.

“What’s with the flowers?” she asks curiously.

“Oh, there are for you. I kinda forgot”.

Jennie smiles bashfully as she hands Lisa the bouquet.

“Really?” she asks excitedly, “They are beautiful, Jen. Thank you”.

The brunette feels prideful.

“Not as beautiful as you. But I guess they are the next best thing”.

Lisa smiles widely as she puts the flowers on the table once again.

 _Angelic_ , Jennie thinks. 

She licks her lips.

"I... would you mind too much breaking some unofficial dating rules?"

Lisa looks at her a bit confused, her head tilted lightly.

"Like which one?"

"Well..." Jennie's eyes travel to Lisa's lips unconsciously before returning to her coffee orbs.

The blonde is looking at her in amusement.

"I mean...I am kind of supposed to wait until the second date to kiss you. But honestly, I've been pining for you for so long I think the rule could be negotiated".

Lisa smiles shyly, her cheeks flushed and her heartbeat picking up a bit.

"I want to kiss you as well."

Jennie smiles widely, her gums showing.

Lisa makes _everything_ so much easier.

She leans forwards slowly, allowing the blonde to stop her if she wants to.

Lisa doesn’t.

In fact, she leans in to close the gap as well.

And they kiss.

It is soft and sweet and it carries so many feelings that it leaves both of them breathless.

Jennie smiles mid-kiss, unable to stop herself, so Lisa pulls away just a little bit, their noses still touching.

The blonde tugs a bit her groupmate's hip to motion her to sit on her lap. Jennie complies immediately. She wraps her hands around Lisa’s shoulders while the blonde embraces her waist tightly.

It is a bit too intimate for their _new lovers_ status, but as Jennie leans down to kiss her again, Lisa considers that they've been gravitating around each other for so long they deserve to be as damn happy as they want.

When the brunette starts pecking her lips playfully between giggles, Lisa stops thinking altogether.

"I love you", Jennie says between kisses.

"I love you", Lisa answers.

It _will_ work, they both think.


	13. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually planning on actually uploading this chapter on Sunday, but I was a bit impatient, so you'll have to pretend haha. Hope you enjoy it, anyway!

Jennie fidgets in her place, a bit nervous.

Not _completely_ nervous really, because she is aware of the fact that no reason for her to be.

But there is an unmistakable tingle in her stomach Jennie knows she always feels at the brink of something new.

She thinks about how she would normally gravitate around Lisa when feeling like that, knowing that the blonde would notice immediately and start making terrible jokes to ease her nerves a bit.

But she can't do that this time because, well, that would ruin the surprise, and Jennie finds the expression that decorates Lisa's face when she’s genuinely surprised just _adorable_.

To be honest, the brunette finds anything her lover does simply enchanting.

The thought of Lisa makes her smile.

The past few days have been amazing. Lisa is considerate and warm and charming and so, so gorgeous she makes Jennie's heart pick up her pace just by staring at her.

She kind of knows they are on their honeymoon phase and that things are probably not going to be as calm forever, but after some open conversations with the blonde in the middle of tender embraces, Jennie feels a confidence she has never felt before. It’s hard not to feel like that, really, when you have somebody as fantastic as Lisa, who tells you how amazing you are between kisses while watching the sunset throughout the living room window. 

And yes, there are some moments in which anxious feelings show up, especially with the release of their teasers just around the corner, but Jennie have been putting into practice some of the advice Rosé and Jisoo gave her after expressing her concerns. She is making a lot of progress. She really is. And Lisa is just there, by her side, and she makes her want to work even _harder_ , just for her. Lisa is her girl, after all.

Well, actually, not _really_.

She took the blonde to their first date the day after her confession. It was, needless to say, beyond successful. Jennie was able to surprise Lisa with a nice, casual setting in a small house just outside Seoul she rented without a second thought. It had a pretty view, a lot of green, and Lisa smiled so brightly during the whole day the brunette faintly thought about actually purchasing the property. A bit too much, Jisoo told her later, and Jennie agreed only partially. However, her romantic plan rewarded her with lots of kisses and sweet words so the brunette felt accomplished nevertheless.

Just the day after, it was Lisa's turn to show off her planning skills. It was really cute. The blonde settled down for something casual as well and they just had some coffee and cookies at Jennie's favorite place and then walked hand-in-hand around a reserved park close to their home. Lisa made Jennie blush several times during the date, always showering with the sweetest compliments and occasionally leaning a bit to her side to kiss her cheeks gently.

It was perfect, Jennie thinks, just as Lisa is, and they've been spending a lot of time together lately just hugging and kissing and talking about almost everything. _Almost_.

Jennie was lying on the top of Lisa's chest when she started to consider the idea of telling her mom about their relationship. Telling her that Lisa was her girlfriend.

And Jennie realized _just then_ that they've never actually clarified to their relationship status. 

She loves Lisa unconditionally, and Lisa loves her with just as much passion, she has no doubt.

But things are still not _official_ , and well, Jennie tried to ignore the thought for a while, considering it ridiculous, but after turning her head yet again against the T-shirt of a sleeping Lisa, Jennie decided that she might as well woman up ask the blonde to be her girlfriend once and for all. 

And that's why the brunette is currently sitting on the living room sofa, a brand new plushie with the shape of a kitten on top of her legs, holding a silver-tinted pen against a white piece of paper.

Lisa has done so many beautiful things for Jennie that she just wants to do the same for her. 

Opening up has been better, really, but there are a few things Jennie is still a bit hesitant to say, her throat always aching a little at the thought of voicing those feelings, so she kind of steals Lisa's writing idea.

She thinks that the blonde won't mind too much.

And if she does mind, Jennie will make sure to charm her with the little extra she has planned.

Her pan involves only Lisa, naturally, so she bought Rosé and Jisoo tickets for some aquarium that opened recently. The couple has been so supportive lately that she felt she could do a little something for them as well.

And as plus, her gift got her some time alone with her hopefully future girlfriend.

Jennie smiles, her chest a bit warm because of the thought, and starts to write.

-

The day is perfect. It is a bit chilly outside, for sure, but thanks to the way in which the sun decided to shine brightly on the early afternoon, a regular jacket is enough to spend some enjoyable time outside.

Jennie puts her hands on her hips, satisfied. The classic plaid tablecloth she laid on the grass in their backyard stays in place due to the lack of wind. On top of it, there are several plates of not-so-healthy food Lisa always asks for when going to her favorite coffee place.

There are a few thornless pink roses sprawled here and there, and the kitten plushie Jennie spent two hours choosing stands proudly in the middle of the set, a silver bow on its top.

It screams _romance_ , Jennie thinks, and she can't bring herself to be disgusted by her own cheesiness because she kind of knows that Lisa will like it. Hopefully, enough for her to accept Jennie's proposal.

The most important element, the star of the show, is being held in the brunette's hand. Jennie analyzes the envelope for the tenth time on the day. 

_It's done, Jennie_ , she convinces herself and proceeds to hide her letter below the tablecloth.

 _Surprise element_ , the brunette thinks.

Jennie takes a deep breath and decides it’s time to show Lisa her surprise. 

She ended up telling the blonde she was planning something because she knew her lover wouldn’t appreciate Jennie just disappearing for the whole morning without any explanation. Lisa asked her if she could help and the brunette just denied with her head chuckling a little before pecking her lips softly. Lisa pouted slightly pretending to be annoyed but was betrayed by the beam in her eyes.

At the moment, Jennie knows that her lover is probably somewhere playing with her cats and waiting impatiently for the surprise. 

The brunet goes inside, then, and after finding the kitchen and the living room empty, she knocks at the door of Lisa's bedroom with her knuckles.

Not a second later, Lisa opens it eagerly with a smile.

Jennie immediately smiles back, stunned once again by Lisa's natural beauty, and offers the blonde her hand.

"Ready for your date, baby?"

Lisa has to swallow the squeal that threatens to escape from her throat because of the pet name.

"Yes! I've been waiting for hours."

Jennie laughs delighted by Lisa's bluntness while she guides her to the backyard.

"Well, here it is", she says, opening the glass door.

Lisa's reaction makes everything worth it.

Her eyes widen at the sight of the setting. She tightens Jennie's hand just a bit while she turns towards her, eyes shining and lips slightly open.

"Babe, you didn’t have to", she says breathlessly, and immediately tugs Jennie closer to the fancy picnic. 

"I know, but I wanted to", the brunette answers easily, still staring at Lisa's features.

The blonde keeps scanning the setting with a dreamy expression and Jennie leans down to grab the kitten plushie.

"I hope you like it", she says as she hands Lisa her gift.

Lisa takes it smiling big, the sunlight coating her face making her seem completely ethereal.

"Baby, everything is perfect. Thank you so much. I love it!"

She hugs the plushie with her free arm while she leans slightly to catch Jennie's lips between her own.

They kiss for a while, both chests warm because of pure affection, until the brunette pulls away lightly.

"The tea will get cold", she says, "We can kiss more a bit later".

Lisa protests playfully but she sits on the tablecloth.

They talk, and they laugh and they eat. Lisa occasionally feels that she has spent too much time without kisses so she leans towards Jennie to retrieve one. The brunette doesn't complain.

They have fallen into a comfortable silence, just staring at each other lovingly, when Jennie decides it's time.

She puts her hand under the tablecloth and finds the silver envelope.

Lisa looks at her curiously.

"This is for you as well".

The blonde grabs the letter she is being handed but keeps looking at Jennie intrigued.

"This is my own version of your letter. There are a lot of things I've always wanted to tell you, and I've finally found a way to do so, so here it is".

Lisa stares at her for a while, her eyes soft, and opens the envelope slowly.

"Can I read it here?" she asks.

"Of course!” Jennie answers.

Lisa begins to read.

~  
_To Lisa:_

 _Of course I remember the first time I saw you as well. It's hard not to. You so looked cute with your short, messy hair and excited smile, but so tiny and lost at times it made my heart ache a bit. We were told you had to acquire the language quickly, and that it was absolutely prohibited for us to speak to you in any other aside from Korean. I didn't think anything of it at first, but I remember some of the trainees mentioning that you could barely stutter a few words when trying to communicate and I immediately understood the sadness behind your smile._

_I kept thinking about you, unwillingly. We have never spoken before, so I didn’t understand why on Earth I was so worried about a girl I didn't even know._

_One day, you were standing in the middle of the dance room. Several trainees were there, but I couldn't help myself but avert my eyes to your figure again and again until I gave up. And suddenly, music started. I imagine you know perfectly well the way in which music makes you feel, but I don't know if you realize the way in which your entire body starts to melt at the beat of it. Your eyes shone with a passion that took me aback a bit and your movements were so fluid it looked as if you were a part of the song itself._

_I watched the whole performance, open-mouthed. When it finished, I knew perfectly well there was no way I was going to spend another single day without getting to know you. Who cared about staff rules, anyway?_

_Then, it all started. It was so easy for me to start gravitating around you. You are gentle, sweet, loving and patient. You have enough light to make absolutely everything just a bit better. You are the most considerate person I've ever met, and just having you by my side makes me joyful and stronger altogether._

_I fell for you. I fell for you gradually, like in all those slow-burn romantic novels I read in high school. I fell for you hard, unconditionally, as if pushed by a superior force only today I feel confident enough to call destiny._

_It terrified me. I realized my feelings for you just a while ago, after spending years pretending not to hear people around me rumoring that I was too cold, too distant for anyone to ever love me._

_I believed them._

_And you showed them all wrong._

_So, thank you._

_Thank your loving me, for being patient, for being forgiving._

_Thank you for pushing me just enough, for making all my walls crumble down._

_Thank you for teaching me how to let myself be loved._

_I can only promise you to love you back with everything I have._

_The thought of you alone makes my heart flutter. You are so, so, gorgeous, there are times I have to press my fingertips on your cheeks to make sure you are actually real. It's a bit embarrassing really, how many times a day I just zone out, thinking about pressing my lips on the curve of your nose and tracing the back of my fingers softly along your jawline._

_You make me soft, and I can't even complain about it, because every time you kiss me, I feel absolutely elated and can't help but think that everything was and is still worth it._

_The past few days have been filled with bliss, cuddling against your chest, getting to hold your hand every time it pleased me._

_And I even though I know we have a long way to go, and that it's probably a bit early to be asking you this at this moment, I think we are way past traditions._

_We've waited long enough._

_So, Lisa, would you like to keep walking by my side, from now on as my girlfriend?_

_Please, let me now._

_With all my love, which is just for you,_

_Jennie_  
~

Lisa looks at her lover’s eyes, tears coating her cheeks gently. Jennie raises her hands to catch every single one of them.

The blonde leans forwards quickly, catching Jennie’s lips on her own for a passionate kiss, her feelings pouring into it.

Jennie answers in the same manner.

They pull away after a while, breathless, and Lisa smiles as if Jennie just gifted all the stars in the sky.

"I love you. I love you so much", she says, her voice a bit strangled.

"And I love you. So, is that a _yes_?" Jennie asks. 

She wants Lisa to say it out loud.

"Of course it is a yes", the blonde answers as if it is the most obvious thing in the world, "It's not like I could ever say _no_ to you".

Jennie smiles big, her gums showing and her eyes slightly teared.

"Good. You are my girlfriend now".

Lisa chuckles in a girlish manner. Her stomach somersaults.

"And you are mine, princess".

Jennie doesn't even try to hide the blush on her cheeks.

"Finally", she says, before wrapping her hands around Lisa's neck, pulling her in.

"Finally", Lisa agrees, before sealing an unspoken promise with kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is it. I really hope you enjoyed reading this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you for passing by and for your lovely comments as well.


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